Courtroom Questions

Questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and responses given by insightful witnesses.

Reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses:

1. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"

3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"

4. "Were you alone or by yourself?"

5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"

6. "Did he kill you?"

7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

8. "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

9. "How many times have you committed suicide?"

10. Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"

11. Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"

12. Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

13. Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: "I went to Europe, sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"

14. Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

15. Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male or female?"

16. Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."

17. Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."

18. Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."

19. Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."

20. Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval."

21. Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood."

22. Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."
Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
A: "No."
Q: "How can you be so sure, doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

Ekta returns

Once Mickey & Donald Had a fight between them...

Donald threw Mickey On the Wall....


Mickey Immediately started writing "RAMAYAN"
.
.
.
.
.
Why???
.
.
.
.
.
Because
.
.
He Became:
.
.
WALL-Mickey

(Note: for those who don't know the Epic, Walmiki is the author/poet(Adi-Kavi) of the Great RAMAYAN)

Deadly PJ's

Brad Pitt and Vidya Balan get married......................


After marriage, lots of students gather at their home .....




why ???




................. because her name becomes Vidya Pitt (vidyapeeth)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- rahul gandhi --> mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi.........


.........


.........

.........

......


sonia gandhi --> kyun beta????????

????????

????? ???????????


rahul gandhi --> har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahumat do
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- BRUCE LEE was a great man.But after his sister gave birth to a baby he became an ordinary man


... why?


Because he becameMAMU LEE!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- santa and banta r discussing

---------

santa----- "if i drink coffee, i ca'nt sleep!!!!


" Banta----- "with me it's the opposite.



if i sleep i can't drink coffee."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------One day Ravan went to a disco

.......


.........

......... ..


aur wahan jaakar woh behosh ho gaya ............


.......kyun????????


????????? ??


kyun????????


??????

bcoz it was written on the gate that "entry fee Rs.1500 per head"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- who made Ganesh to Anesh...????


ThinK......


Think......


okay.....

" KAILASH KHER "tere naam se " G " loon....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ek din ek aadmi apne naukar ko Priya Gold biscuit laane bolta hai.


To naukar biscuit laane Pakistan jaata hai.



Kyon??????


Think.......


......Give up??




Coz..."Priya Gold biscuit. Haq se maango.."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ek nadi thi...... uske upar ek pull bana hua tha.....

pull par bahut saari ladkiyan khadi thi......

sab ki sab ek hi ladke ki deewani thi.....

Guess who was the lucky guy??????


...........................Keep Guessing


.... ..........................Chalo yaar



the answer is"KISNA"Jo hai albela mad naino wala........
jiski diwani BRIDGE ki har bala...........
woh kisna hai.........
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- if a CAT crosses ur way, when u are going some where,



then what does it mean?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ????

it means that the Cat is also going somewhere.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- AND FINALLY THE LAST ONE

Why are Indian husbands called "MADE OF SILVER"
And Why are American husbands called "MADE OF GOLD"

Socho


Thoda Socho


Socho


Socho....



Nahi Aata Bcoz Indian wives call their husband "A g" ( Scientific Symbol for Silver)American wives call their husband "A u" ( Scientific Symbol for Gold)

PJ's from Anshika

1) Tumhari adaao pe main main vari vari,
Wah Wah....
Tumhari adaao pe main main vari vari,
Wah Wah....
Dial 139 for railway enquiry.....:)

2) Abhishek Bachchan has one sister..But he wants more n more sisters...Why?
***think think**

Dont know

coz he sings in Ravan
'Behne de mujhe Behne de.... :P

3) How do u 'cut' roads?
By laughing....coz

'Haste haste cut jaye raste' :D

4) Beer pine se phele bolte hai cheers
wah wah
Beer pine se phele bolte hai cheers
wah wah
Arey o pushpa
I hate tears :P :P

5) Arz kiya hai
Button dabane se chalu hua fan
wah
observation to dekhiye
Button dabane se chalu hua fan
I'm popeye, d sailorman
Poo Poo

6) Bhook mere mar gayi...mujhe lagti nhn pyaas..
The time period of pendulum is independent of its mass :P :D

7) Na jeene ki tamaana hai na marne ka khauf..(feelings to dekho)
Na jeene ki tamaana hai na marne ka khauf...
The no. u are trying to reach is currently switched off....;):P

8) Deadly metro shayari--
Tum pheno topi, hum pehnenge cap..
wah wah
Tum pehno topi, hum pehnenge cap....
Doors will open on the left, plz mind the gap :P :P :D:D

9) Apne gamo ko mere dost apne dil me daba lo....
Apne gamo ko mere dost apne dil me daba lo....
Naya godrej powder hair dye....
Bas kato,gholo aur lagalo.....

10) **** The oscar winning shayari****
Na iska na usko thi mere pyar ki khabar
Na iska na usko thi mere pyar ki khabar
Are mera diagram galat hogaya...
rubber de rubber...:P:D:P:D:D

Thanks,
Anshika

Password Policy

In a recent survey they found a Longest password by a person
(sorry to say but it was a sardar)...
which was as following:

Password: "GogoBondBaburaavShyamMogamboThakurSambaPremMumbai"



When asked he replied :

Password should contain combination of 8 characters and one capital in it.

Height of...

Laziness
Asking for the lift in morning walk

craziness
Get a xerox of a blank page

Honesty
Pregnant lady taking 2 tickets

De-hydration
Com giving milk powder

Hope
99 year old woman making a recharge for lifetime validity

Foolishness
A guy peeping thru' the keyhole of a glass door.

-
From Ekta

PJ @ just Rs 100

Q: Agar Rs 25 main Paav Bhaaji milthi hai tho.. Rs 100 main kyaa milegaa???
..
...
....
.....
......
........

Ans: Poori Bhaaji :p


(For thos who dont understand Hindi, Paav also means Quarter, Poori is Full)

Cheers,
Vivek